Talk, before there’s trouble…

If you ask marriage therapists about their most challenging cases, you will often hear that these couples sought help long after their first serious problems.

Marriage trouble is intensely personal. Few of us have seen our parents model the use of couples counseling. And, it’s hard to invest in a process where we become vulnerable, can’t predict how it will unfold, and do not have guaranteed outcomes.

What is predictable is that all marriages will have difficult times. Asking for help early is a predictor of success in couples counseling. Marriage is an incubator for grown-ups.   Lovers and newlyweds never begin life together fully mature.  Making effective use of that incubator is much easier with help from a compassionate, competent professional.

One study of 1000 engaged, married, and divorced people indicates that couples counseling is very common among certain age groups. Check it out here.

 

 

 

After the Honeymoon

Sam was a brilliant businessman, intellect, and romantic. He married Tia, a lovely aspiring singer, taking her to a beautiful, remote spot in a foreign land to propose. It literally mirrored a scene from a movie they saw together when they first met and fell in love. Marrying a beautiful, equally intelligent, and charming woman who would make an attractive partner and who also held strong family values was about the best thing he could imagine happening to him. He was happy to support her aspirations to perform, however, a few years into the marriage, when Tia began to find success, travel more, and be emotionally consumed in challenging projects he felt cheated. Continue reading “After the Honeymoon”